Session 7 & 8 - They Find 'em
Nov 21, 2024I have not been with these Weenie Fellows for too long but it’s clear to me, they would be 100% dead if they hadn’t met a rat like me. Let’s start with their haphazard “raid” on a known criminal hideout. The first thing they do when approaching the door is the big one starts yelling. I can’t believe the goblins guarding the place didn’t hear them! There had to be only a 5/20 chance of that happening. Luckily I had the brilliant idea to scope out the space ahead of time and gave them the all clear.
Doesn’t matter though, big guy charged forward and woke a guard up anyway. Then the tall handsome one went on a stabbing spree, even I didn’t have to do anything.
So we head deeper into this dank, foul-smelling lair, and honestly, I love it. We come across some people yelling about ooze, but my spirits were dampened when it was clear the ooze they see isn’t the good kind. Everyone wanted to charge in but I said “wait, we don’t have to use violence”. I suggested the cleric use his booming voice spell and send the pirate in. It worked like a charm, and everyone died.
We made it to the final boss. You could tell right away he is the final boss from the tentacles all over his face. Normal folks don’t have tentacles on their face. Outside of the boss’s . . . I guess you would call it his office? It’s where he was doing his business of torturing the guy we came to save, so its kind of his office. So outside his office, it’s clear there is a motivation issue. The big guy isn’t “mad” enough to fight so we are all start trying to hype him up. I might have took it too far. Listen, I’m a cultured rat, but Meryl Streep was so stiff and rigid she was more Ironclad than Iron Lady. He was so upset, he literally disappeared!
The ensuing battle was hard to watch. You could tell they were dying. The religious one’s brain literally died it seemed like. After killing some of the brain-spiders and the big wizard guy, they were still having trouble. I declared in my most barbaric voice “WE ARE DONE” and of course the rest of the critters cowered in fear. Religious man then decides to go back and save some random dwarf that was suffering from the ooze. The dwarf then pledged his life and in an instant, you could see him go from nameless evil henchman to some guy with thoughts and feelings.
So we saved that guy, but the guy we came to save we also saved. Then that guy and floppy hat guy kissed and surprised all the other guys but not this guy. Spending 500 gold on adventurers to find someone isn’t drinking buddy behavior, its boning buddy behavior. On top of the gold that I’m pretty sure we got somehow, he also gave us a sweet house. It was everything a house should be, dank, rotten, and haunted. We get to the place and everyone immediately starts planning to ruin it. They are going to clean it, renovate it, and turn it into a church. I don’t understand why they would mess with perfection.
The renovations started and the days flew by in the blink of five minutes chunks. While fixing the manor up, we got a letter inviting us to the opera where someone is going to talk to us about the harpers. Knowing that the wizards would never look presentable to the opera, I suggested we go get them some outfits. I did not suggest everyone getting the same outfits but I must say, they cleaned up nicely. After all the outfits were picked out, the gay genies had brought out a 6th outfit, rat sized and perfectly tailored for me! Its not my usual outfit, but looking at myself on that little gnomes shoulder in the mirror, I thought “Damn we looked good. I might get used to this.”